Poetry and English
Wowee! Somebody checked my blog… 20 TIMES on Tuesday!!! Oh thank you so much now I feel so loved! Well, I promised Tash that I would post a poem. Cheer. It’s about escaping by closing your eyes. Here it is:
Sometimes, it’s fun to escape;
Completely unaware of anyone else:
Full of joy and bliss,
On some journey in my head–
And in my heart.
Lemons in my skies, apple of my eye!
And every day I wish I fly;
And dash a glistening tear aside:
And dash that glistening tear aside–
So full of hight, and flight;
When the sun’s beams and the moon’s rays:
When the moon’s beams and the sun’s rays
Meet, intertwined at the very break of dawn.
Ah, poetry! Now I feel like you know me very well, because that poem is the very thing I think every day of my life.
Grammar sticlers, UNITE TODAY! Oh, sorry to not include you on my train of thought, I tend to do that often, skipping about from subject to subject like a dainty-footed mountain goat in the crisp and fresh-scented air of the Swiss Alps, watched over by a boy named Peter who is wearing suspenders and a coarse shirt, playmate of a young Swiss girl named Heidi whos grandmother is blind and likes toasted cheese, perhaps you have heard of her she’s rather famous. Anyways.
This is an excerpt from a book called Eats, shoots, and leaves. It’s by a woman named Lynne Truss. The title is from an old grammar-stickler joke:
A panda walks into a bar, orders nachos, eats them, pulls out a gun, fires two shots into the air and walks out. ‘Why did you do that?’ the bartender asks, perplexed. ‘I’m a panda, look it up’, says the panda, tossing the bartender a brochure on pandas. The bartender turns to the page about the panda’s diet. The entry says: ‘Panda: eats, shoots, and leaves.’.
HHHAAAAA haaahaa. Do you get it? If you don’t, I will explain. When the brochure says ‘eats, shoots, and leaves’, it is adding 2 extra commas! What they really mean is ‘eats shoots and leaves’ as in bamboo shoots and leaves! Here is a little clever punctuation twister:
1. A woman, without her man, is nothing.
2. A woman: without her, man is nothing.
So here is THE funniest part of the book: a letter from a girl to a guy. Number one is with the ‘positive’ version of punctuation, and number 2 is with the ‘negative’ version. It should bring you some laughs, especially Niki and Tash.
1. Dear Jack,
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we’re apart. I can be forever happy - will you let me be yours?
Jill
2. Dear Jack,
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men I yearn! For you I have no feelings whatsoever. When we’re apart I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?
Yours,
Jill
Isn’t that a SCREAM?!?! Oh, now you probably are terrified of me releasing my Inner English Freak…. hehe. Fear me…? Niki and Tash, since you two are probably the only two that care, if you want to read more of the book, visit http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?z=y&ean=9781592400874&displayonly=CHP
then scroll down until you see the small print. Actually, it’s not that small. You will love it.
Sorry, I kind of realize that this isn’t of much interest to most of you…
Love, Kimaya
