InDiAn DiVa

Hi people!!!!

I decided I really wanted to talk to you about Caucasians. In case you didn’t know, that just means ‘white people’ who aren’t Asian or blah blah blah. They are just American or Canadian people who have no idea where else they are from, besides “Europe, somewhere”.

I had a weird time grasping the concept of Caucasians. For instance, I thought it was an actual global location when I was 7 years old, because my mom had a book on her shelf that was called Caucasia in big black letters. So I knew it was a place. I believed that until I was 10.

In Canada, I was reading the newspaper at my grandparent’s second house, and I was reading the police log (have you ever read Bar Harbor Police Beat? It’s a really funny book about police logs in Bar Harbor, Maine, where you have to go to sail to Nova Scotia, but that’s another subject. *back on topic, Kimy. People don’t check your blog to hear you talking to yourself!* ), and I noticed, in the list of arrests made (there were 20 made!!!! Drinking party, I think), three men were black, and the others were all ‘caucasian’!

I was thinking wow, what is up with Caucasians in Canada?? Are they some Asian or African descended people who like to stir up trouble? Why in the universe would 17 Caucasian men be arrested?!?! And then I realized: caucasian means white.

I felt kind of stupid when I figured that out. All along, I was really into visiting Caucasia, where people act “all- American/Canadian”.

By the way, I am putting America and the BOTTOM HALF of Canada, like the Nova Scotia part, the parts that touch America, as an example to classic “caucasian-ism”.

This is getting so confusing. Did you notice that caucasian-ism isn’t even a word???

Also, I don’t think the Canadians say “all-Canadian”. I wonder what they say. Maybe “completely Canadian”? No, that sounds  extremely lame.

By the way, I love Canada, and I intend on spending alot of time there in the near future. Except for one thing: I can’t swim in the ocean. (hey, did you notice that I changed subjects??) I don’t know why. I like cold water and salt and happy stuff like that, but that’s it. I canNOT stand fish, jellyfish (except moonjellies), wormy things, seaweed, and crabs. Or other creepy stuff like that. And EELS!!! Have you ever had a jellyfish and an eel swinning around your legs trying to kill each other?? Eels are SO… um… (trying to be polite to eel-lovers, those fanatics far and few)… um… un-wonderful.

Also, fish. Fishes are made up almost entirely of muscle, right? So when you have a giant muscle (fish) swimming around your legs… you know? Also, I hate those weird green sea-creatures that are out at low tide in the morning, (about 5:53 am, according to the tide clock). I was trying to pull up a peice of driftwood for my cousin out of the sand when we went walking at low tide on our beach, and i pulled it out, and just for a second, I could have sworn there was, I don’t know, and little green arm waving.

I am so sorry. This is probably ruining your appetite for the sea.

Oh, and about the little green arm. I don’t mean an actual arm like a tiny green human arm, but like an octopus arm. Tentacle doesn’t sound so good, you know? Oh, then there was a fisherman guy who said that that’s how he finds octopuses.

Wait– octopuses  octopi? Octopee??? Never mind.

This is actually turing out to be rather long of a post. But I still have more to say.

I had another Beauty and the Beast show last night. It was fun. It involved chasing Yeye through half the auditorium, consoling Yeye from… um… “killing” people, telling Yeye something important, then yelling at Yeye because she was being “depressed”. Oh, I also spent those precious last moments at the theatre telling Nate to not do what he was going to do because I would never do what he said I would do if he did what he was going to do (do you understand that?), and threatening to poke his eyes out with my beautiful navy blue office pen if he did what he said he was going to do.

All in all, it was a good show.

Right.

Love, Kimy